Author: Ryn Gargulinski

Ryn Gargulinski is a writer, artist and performer whose journalism career began in 1991. Armed with a BFA in creative writing, an MA in English literature and a thesis in NYC subway folklore, she has written thousands of articles for newspapers and the online crowd. Credits also include writing and poetry awards, several illustrated humor books, and a Rynski art shop at rynski.etsy.com. More about Ryndustries at www.ryngargulinski.com
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Would You Wear This Skeleton Shirt?

skeleton tank top shirt

Many artists have the fantasy of blanketing the entire world with their art. And even if they don’t, it’s been one of mine since childhood. The quest to make this fantasy a reality has included drawing Snoopy on the garage wall, being grounded for drawing Snoopy on the garage wall, painting rocks that pepper my backyard garden, and creating loads of colorful signs found in yards and homes from Alabama to Australia.

And now it also includes a few items of clothing, one of which is this fun ‘n’ freaky skeleton shirt. While it took me several weeks to actually wear this shirt after I designed and ordered one for myself, the results were wonderful. And I wanted to make sure others didn’t go through a similar dilemma if they’re wondering if they, too, should wear this shirt or not.

So here come a bunch of reasons why you should or should not wear this shirt. Go through the lists, check off items that apply, and then tally the results for your final answer.

Why You Should Wear This Shirt

  • It features original artwork of a skeleton sporting a Mohawk – the perfect chance to boast a Mohawk without cutting a single strand of your hair.
  • The skeleton grabs attention without needing to swear, break things or otherwise resort to violence. He also appears on the front AND the back!
  • It doesn’t say mean things, like “I’m with stupid.”
  • Unlike many tank tops these days, it doesn’t come with padded inserts or ridiculous cleavage you’d be embarrassed to wear in front of your mother.
  • It pairs keenly with cut-offs or other simple shorts in the summer heat.

Why You Should Not Wear This Shirt

  • You’re heading to a corporate meeting with a strict dress code (when I worked in corporate America 100 years ago, I used to get a dress code memo on my desk at least once a week).
  • Skeletons irk you.
  • You’re already wearing super loud, plaid gauchos or a flowing, flowered skirt, both of which could clash with the Mohawk skeleton.
  • You accidentally left it somewhere your dog could access it and he has since chewed a hole in the middle and used it as a blanket.

Still not sure if you should wear this shirt or not? Give it a whirl and see what happens. Order yours now on Zazzle.

skeleton tank top shirt
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Jerk o’ the Week: Argumentative Anna

argumentative anna jerk

The following is an excerpt from The Little Book of Big Jerks to give you a sneak peek at the types of jerks you’ll meet inside the guide to dealing with difficult people.

Argumentative Anna

Argumentative Anna is an expert on everything, or so she thinks. And the first thing she knows is that whatever you know is wrong. It doesn’t matter that she never rode a horse, painted an awning or flown a plane, she’ll tell the cowboy his saddle is too tight, tell the awning painter the color is not right and tell the pilot he’s doing the landing thing all wrong.

3 Giveaway Traits:

  • Constantly barges in with her input, even if she has no idea about the topic at hand
  • Tells you you’re wrong, even if you happen to agree with her
  • Argues about things that have basis in scientific fact, like that silly idea about the earth being round

How to Deal:

Tell her she’s right. Absolutely right.

How Else to Deal:

Check out the cool jerk-fighting tools in The Little Book of Big Jerks. Real-life solutions for dealing with real-life jerks.

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I Never Met a Dog I Didn’t Like – Until I Met Gillespie

jerky dog meme

Who is Gillespie?

Gillespie was this chunky little ornery dog we met at the dog park. He was a real jerk.

What made him jerky?

He followed us around snarling. Then he tried to get between my own dogs and me, snarling at them if they came near me. Then he incessantly sniffed butts while snarling some more. He finally snarled one too many times in my dog Gigi’s face and Gigi attacked him.

Then what happened?

Then we left.

What were Gillespie’s owners doing during all this?

Just sitting there on a bench. They finally said the dog’s name after the attack. Maybe to prevent another one?

Or maybe they wanted Gillespie to get attacked and killed so they didn’t have to bring him back home.

No, people can’t be that cruel – even with a jerky dog.

So what should people do if they have a jerky dog?

Not bring him out in public.

And warn any visitors to the home that a jerky dog is on the property.

You mean they should buy one of your custom dog signs on Etsy?

You bet! This one works:

obnoxious dog sing
obnoxious dog on property

Buy one now (even if your dog is not a jerk).

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3 Things that Can Make or Break Your Dog Beach Retreat

dog beach tent

Lots of sunshine, lots of ocean and lots of meditative naps. My annual San Diego Dog Beach retreat with the hounds is stocked with the perfect ingredients for one relaxing, revitalizing getaway. Yet each year it consistently came with three ingredients we’d all prefer to live without:

  • Sand in the bed
  • Over-baking in the sun
  • That icky wet dog smell

Year after year I just kind of learned to live with these things, the same way you learn to live with a rock in your shoe if you’re too lazy to stop and remove it. But this year I fought back. I was going to hurl that proverbial rock from my shoe, conquering the bed sand, the sun bake and the wet dog smell.

And I did it with three simple add-ons to my packing list.

dog beach dog paws

Hand-Held Vacuum

Conquers sand in the bed

Not sure if anyone calls them “Dust Busters” anymore, but I am sure that rechargeable, hand-held vacuums suck up sand in bed like nobody’s business.

If you’re heading to Dog Beach, your hotel bed is going to end up sandy and wet. Even if there are two queen-sized beds in the room and you’re only planning to sleep on one of them, dogs have a certain way of choosing your sleeping bed to romp on right after an afternoon at the beach.

One year we tried a throw rug foot mat, which helped a tad for wiping off human feet before hopping into bed. But the dogs never got the hang of using it properly to wipe their paws. It helped a little.

The next year we tried a thick over-sheet that helped keep dog sand from seeping through the porous blanket into the main sheets. It helped a little more.

The third year I got really savvy. I packed the hand-held vacuum. Combined with the foot mat and non-porous top sheet, the vacuum provided the final touch every beach bed needs to prevent you from waking up with grit in your teeth.

dog beach san diego

Dog Beach Tent

Protects from wind and sun

When you live in the middle of the Arizona desert and drive more than six hours to reach the Pacific Ocean, you’ll be dang well sure you’re spending as much time as humanly possible on the beach before you return to cactus land.

But the amount of time that’s humanly possible in the sun is a bit different than the amount that’s dogly possible. Pooches tend to tucker out much quicker, probably because one dog hour in the sun is equivalent to seven human hours in the sun, no?

A sweet lil beach tent came to the rescue here. Not only did it serve to shield us from the beach wind and sun, but it worked as an ideal hiding place in case we wanted spy on passers-by. No one comes near the tents around Ocean Beach because they’re typically populated with hobo types who ask for money if you come within 25 feet of them.

 

dog beach pacific ocean

Essential Oils

Annihilates icky wet dog smell

The best add-on by far was a trio of essential oils, a plug-in diffuser and a spray bottle. Fill the diffuser and bottle with water mingled with a few drops of your favorite oils. Plug in the former. Shake up and spray the latter. Repeat as often as needed. You just got wiped out that icky wet dog smell.

Peppermint essential oil is strong without being overpowering. Vanilla adds a warm and cozy touch. Ylang Ylang adds a dollop of energy and has a really cool name.

All our future dog beach retreats will definitely include these magical items – along with the approximately 564 million other things we pack ur annual retreat is awash with comfort, peace and plenty of sand-free serenity.

What must-have items do you always bring along on retreats?

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Top Home Décor Mistake People Make when Painting Their Home

leopard print painted ceiling

One feature that’s in every single home has the power to totally transform the entire look, feel and vibe of a room. It can make a bold statement. Create a cozy haven. Provide a sense of continuity. And serve as a place to display wall art for which you ran out of space on the wall.

The magical feature is the ceiling. And the top home décor mistake most people make is totally ignoring it. Many leave their ceilings unpainted, stuck in the same chintzy bland color that typically comes with the house, which is about as thrilling as soggy white bread.

The result is a home that never truly looks or feels wholly complete – and a prime chuck of artistic real estate that’s going utterly to waste. Continue reading Top Home Décor Mistake People Make when Painting Their Home

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