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How to Pick and Paint a Boat Name

paint boat name

You name your kids. You name your cat. You may even name your houseplants. It thus only makes sense that you name your boat. Tradition says you not only have to pick a name for your boat, but you have to paint that name on the boat before you head out on the wild blue waves.

Skip these important steps, and bad things can happen. Your boat may sink, crash, smash, capsize or fall off that flat edge of the earth that sits just below the horizon.

Basics for Picking a Boat Name

Boats have long been given women’s names, so you might get strange looks if you name your boat “Gus” or “George.” Two theories are behind the female names used to adorn boats, and one is pretty boring. So I’ll mention the cool one. The cool theory stretches back to ancient times when watercraft were named for female goddesses and other mythical beings.

The tradition kept going, with female names expanding to include important historical figures, popular female names, or names of the women near and dear to the captain’s heart.

When naming your boat, you want to avoid:

  • The most popular names, such as Serenity or Serendipity, which make it look like all you did was review the most popular boat names instead of using your imagination
  • Names that indicate sinking, crashing, smashing or falling off the earth, like Disaster Dame or Sinking Sally
  • Names based on someone or something you may not like in a year or two, although boat names are easier to cover than a tattoo
  • Names you’d be embarrassed to paint on the back no matter how endearing they may be, like Cuddle Bear, Honey Boo Boo or Pumpkin Butt 

Basics for Painting the Boat Name

A few quick dos and don’ts I picked up from painting the name on my beau Bob’s boat take care of this one.

Do:

  • Pick the proper paint for the job, such as a hearty marine paint or no-nonsense sign paint
  • Practice a bit so you know what you’re doing
  • Sketch out the name in colored pencil first so you don’t run out of room
  • Adjust the letters as needed as the paint drips when you lay it on too thick
  • Cover the deck below your paint job, unless you’re a fan of paint-splattered decks

Don’t:

  • Pick a color that easily fades or is not immediately visible
  • Make your letters so little you need a microscope to see them
  • Try to fit too many letters into too small a space; shorten the painted name if the official name is too long
  • Try to paint the boat while you’re cruising down the lake

The Final Results

When the picking and painting of your boat name is done right, you can end up with glorious results for years to come. As you can see, the wonderful Captain Bob picked a name based on a woman near and dear to his heart – and then threw in his sweet sense of humor giving sirens a nod so they wouldn’t sink his boat. Betcha this vivacious vessel named SyRyn won’t be falling off the edge of the earth anytime soon. Love it!

boat name painting tips
One last tip: Only go in the water once the paint is dry.

Got a house, boat, houseboat or other large item you wanted groovily painted? Contact Rynski.

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The Joy of a Rusty Rustic DIY Fireplace Screen

DIY creative fireplace screen

It’s happened to the best of us. We toss, turn, kick and moan, unable to sleep at night because so many fireplace screens tend to be:

  • Chintzy
  • Cheesy
  • Boring

This anguish over fireplace screens is so strong and unrelenting, it can hit even if you don’t have a fireplace.

What to Do about It

The roaring fire is so gorgeous. You need something just as gorgeous to compliment its beauty. That’s where my pal Mary came in. Actually two pals, both named Mary, came in.

Mary 1 had a delightful idea some time back. She asked me to create a fireplace screen out of upcycled metal stuff. Since she only needed the screen for aesthetics, any type of fastenings and material would do. I don’t have a photo on hand, but it came out fabulously.

Mary 2 wanted to expand on the idea. But she needed a cool fireplace screen that was functional. That meant it must:

  • Stand firm against the roaring flame
  • Have a back screen to stop shooting embers
  • Withstand the high heat of a fireplace fire

That was a whole ’nother ballgame. And Ryndustries scored a home run!

The Fireplace Screen Foundation

DIY fireplace screen
Foundation was an old gate. Had to remove hinges and add feet.

It all starts with some sort of foundation, in this case a metal gate. Mary’s instructions included making sure the gate scroll stuff at the top was covered. She also hates symmetry. One more move was to amend the blechy black color by providing a ravishing rust coating.

Mary and I had headed to Gersons, a used building material shop here in Tucson, where she had picked out the foundation and other parts for the project.

The Parts and Supplies

DIY fireplace screen feet
Metal brackets, nuts, washers, bolts for fireplace screen feet
  • Thick sheet of metal cutouts from pile of metal cutouts sold at Gersons
  • The back screen, also from Gersons
  • Metal brackets for feet; nuts, washers and bolts to secure feet, hardware store stuff
  • Metal screws for attaching screen and metal cutouts
  • Paint kit that includes specialized primer, paint, oxidization solution, coating to create rust effect on non-rusty pieces, Modern Masters Metal Effects is where it’s at
  • Fire proofing for final top coat
  • Dremel metal cutting wheels to cut metal

The Tools

  • Flat-headed hammer for pounding
  • Drill for making holes and inserting screws
  • Snips for cutting metal screen
  • Various pliers for bending metal
  • The almighty Dremel

The Final Result

creative fireplace screen
Final result of creative fireplace screen.

Wow. I loved it. My beau Bob loved it. Dog Elmo loved it so much he even tried to pee on it (Note to Mary: I stopped him!). Most importantly of all, Mary loved it.

With all the research, supply gathering, sanding, drilling, attaching, bolting, priming, painting, screwing in screws, bending, pounding and flameproof coating, total time spent was a shade under 9 hours.

One look at the rusty rustic metal fireplace screen in action makes all the effort worth it. It’s amazing what creative minds can do when you put them together. Thanks, Mary, for one of the most amazing projects I’ve ever had to pleasure of creating.

Back of creative fireplace screen.
Top view of creative fireplace screen. All attachments were made with screws and bent metal. No welding involved.
DIY creative fireplace screen
Close up of creative fireplace screen.
DIY creative fireplace screen
Night shot of creative fireplace screen in action in front of tiki chimenea in rynski magic garden.

Got a groovy project idea you want me to help you create? Go for it. Shoot me an email. Let’s make something coooool.

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Will I See You in Phoenix Nov. 4?

local first az fall fest 2017

Come one, come all. C’mon – the drive from Tucson (or New York or Michigan) can be fun, especially if you discover trance driving where you get to meditate while watching the road.

Check out the Local First AZ event page for more info.

Can’t make it? Will miss you. But you can still shop rynski online.

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3 Marketing Tactics that Backfire Big Time

make it go away

Not one. Not two. But a total of six! – count them – six emails bombarded my email inbox milliseconds after I recently ordered a single $12 dog collar online. Give me a break. Give us ALL a break – please!

While many modern marketing tactics are highly effective if done right, some companies are doing them wrong. Way wrong. Modern marketing tactics require a delicate balance of:

  • Pertinent information
  • Strategic timing
  • Tactics that don’t piss off your customers

The real-life examples I’ve encountered below backfire miserably in one or more areas, making them more annoying than a sleeping dog’s paw hitting you in the face at 3 a.m.

Example 1: The Email Bombardment

You already got a sneak peek at this one, with a dog collar company sending six emails when I ordered a single $12 collar. I can only imagine how many emails I may have gotten if I would have ordered $150 worth of goodies. Geesh.

Online orders basically require two emails:

  • One email to confirm the order and mention expected ship date
  • One email to alert customer when the order ships

Add tracking info and you get a gold star. Send a flurry of emails that contain things like a message from your founder, a rundown on your return policy, or one just to tell me “You are PAWsome,” and I promise I’ll never order another collar from you again.

This type of email tidal wave suggests the folks at the company have recently discovered email automation and, by golly, are going to set up as many as they can.

Example 2: Begging for a Review

The biggest faux pas in this category are the sellers who start begging for a review of the item you purchased – before the dang item even arrives. Others don’t wait long enough, like the company that started begging for a review of the 303-page book I had ordered a day after I received the book.

How the heck would I have read a 303-page book in a single day unless I quit my job, told my dogs they had to skip their daily meals and walk, and decided not to sleep.

Begging for a review in general can make a company appear desperate, and begging for one with a series of emails raises that desperation to an even higher level. It’s akin to sending hourly texts to someone right after your first date.

One purchase I made started an avalanche during which the seller sent me one email per week, every week, asking if I reviewed the item yet. I finally broke down and wrote a review, just so the emails would stop. My review gave exactly one star, not necessarily because the product sucked, but because the begging emails did.

Example 3: Ads that Follow You around Like a Lost Puppy

You know this scenario. You buy a stand-up yoga paddle board, kiln, or new backyard couch online, and suddenly your browsing is peppered with ads for – you guessed it – paddle boards, kilns, and backyard couches. What backfires most about this ploy is the fact that many of the ads end up being for the exact same thing you purchased two seconds ago.

Sorry, Charlie, but if I just spent $1,500 on a paddle board, $600 on a kiln, or $327 for a new backyard couch, it’s highly unlikely I’ll be buying another one just yet. Why not follow me around with ads for stuff related to the item I recently purchased, rather than a duplicate of the same item?

That paddle board would be more fun with some swim shorts, the kiln would align nicely with a pair of 3-foot tongs, and perhaps the backyard couch could use a few cool throw pillows.

Since the personalized ads come about from cookies, you can go through a whole song and dance to disable cookies. Or you can do the next best thing: ignore them.

Like anything else in life, marketing tactics are best done in moderation. Because we’re all hounded, pounded and otherwise barraged with all types of digital disruptions on a daily basis, moderation is more likely to make your company stand out than joining the crowd of pests.

Modern marketing tactics are definitely an area where the company that acts as the proverbial squeaky wheel won’t get the grease. Your squeakiness is much more likely to make customers throw you off to the side in favor of a wheel that gives you a smoothly quiet and pleasant ride.

Need writing for non-annoying marketing content? I’m on it! Contact me today.

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