Posted on

Top 3 Reasons You Need the Rynski Doggie Dictionary

rynski doggie dictionary

More than 80 full-color dog cartoons. A humorous take on dog terms, expressions and proverbs. A basic dog info section that helps to ensure you don’t mess with an angry hound. If these reasons simply aren’t enough to convince you to buy your copy of The Rynski Doggie Dictionary, perhaps these next three reasons are.

Here’s what the doggie dictionary can do for you:

raining cats and dogs
raining cats and dogs, illustration from the rynski doggie dictionary

Help you wow the crowd at dinner parties

You’re at one of those stale dinner engagements where, alas, the hottest topic of conversation is the weather. Rather than yawning along with the rest of the crowd, you can perk up the entire party with your astounding knowledge of dog expressions and proverbs.

This is especially a propos since someone just so happened to mention it was raining cats and dogs. Since you read The Rynski Doggie Dictionary, you have the full background on that expression, as well as several others. Suddenly the party is a total blast. Someone even started dancing naked on the table!

let sleeping dogs lie
let sleeping dogs lie, illustration from the rynski doggie dictionary

Earn you extra cash

Whether you’re trying to save money to buy a new robot vacuum or your overall workflow is slow, extra income is always welcome. With The Rynski Doggie Dictionary at your side, you’ll have the knowledge you need to earn it, pronto. You can find instant employment as a fortune cookie writer.

The dog proverbs you find inside the book provide you with fabulous fodder for penning those fortunes.

  • Let sleeping dogs lie.
  • Children aren’t dogs; adults aren’t gods.
  • Every dog is allowed one bite.

Yep, you’ll soon be watching the millions roll on in, thanks to the proverbs in this cartoon dog book.

dog anatomy cartoon
dog anatomy cartoon from book. flews are no. 7, btw.

Increase your chances of going to heaven

Let’s say you’re at the gates of heaven and you have to answer a single question to get in. A massive angel stands before you with one simple inquiry: “What are flews?”

If you read the Rynski Doggie Dictionary, you’d remember flews were mentioned in the dog Basic Body Parts section. It’s simply a term used to describe a dog’s lips. The harps play, the gates open, and you live happily ever after in paradise.

Sound good to you? Then get your copy of The Rynski Doggie Dictionary today!

Thanks in advance for helping to support a Tucson artist, writer, and dog Reiki practitioner (who is diligently applying for positions as a fortune cookie writer).

Share
Posted on

carving knife (poem)

old man dog

Sometimes when

chopping apples I am

stopped

by thoughts

of mary

 

who was drunk when her

wayward electric knife

carved her forearm

instead of

the ham

 

the doctors said permanent damage

from ligaments sliced straight to bone

 

the next day

she changed

her habits – learned

to drink with her

other hand.

 

-ryn.02.12.18

Share
Posted on

How to Justify the Expense of a Robot Vacuum

robot vacuum and dogs

Robot vacuums have come a long way since the primitive round things that swirled around aimlessly and got stuck on even the thinnest fiber of carpet. Today’s models have a flat side for more effective pickups, along with a systematic pattern of vacuuming that leaves nothing in their wake. The best of them can conquer everything from multiple throw rugs to wads of dog hair with Cheerios and small wood chips in between.

The only problem is the high cost of a really good one, which can make you feel like you’re spending your hard-earned cash on a frivolous or needless thing. You’re not. A high-quality robot vacuum is definitely worth the investment, saving you tons of money in the long run.

Automatic $300 Savings

Your first order of business is to get a rocking deal. Research robot vacuums, finding one that costs more than you’d pay for even a new bicycle or pair of glasses. A few robot vacs in the $1,000 range qualify. Your next step is to review the features, decide which you need, and then find a $700 robot vacuum that does the same kind of stuff.

  • Money Saved: $300 right off the bat

Time Spent with Traditional Vacuum

Now tally up the time spent with your traditional vacuum on a regular basis. If you’re like most, you spend hours you don’t even realize with that archaic thing. First there’s the hassle of digging it out of the closet. This is followed by the tedious task of unwinding the cord and then moving piles of stuff away from any given outlet to plug it in.

Since you have a penchant for shag carpeting, dragging the thing across the living room always leaves your beau with back pain. Then there’s the bin emptying, the filter cleaning, and the three hours spent dousing your nostrils in essential oil to combat the musky dog smell the vacuum always spews anyway.

Your time tally can easily come to more than four hours a week with a traditional vacuum. Say you charged something like $10 per hour for your vacuum time, that’s $40 a week on labor alone, not to mention pain and suffering. Multiply the $40 of weekly labor by 52 weeks in the year, and you’re looking at $2,080.

  • Money Saved: $2,080 in annual vacuum-related labor

Pain and Suffering from Traditional Vacuum

The physical, mental and emotional anguish of using a traditional vacuum can be high, especially when you know there are high-tech robot vacs on the market. Pain and suffering easily weighs in at something like $1,500 a year. (Triple this calculation if you have to meddle with vacuum bags.)

  • Money Saved: $1,500 in annual vacuum-related pain and suffering

 Vet Bills for Dog Anxiety

You’re not the only one who suffers with the old-school vacuum. Think of the poor dogs. Every time they see you heading to the closet to unleash the mean old vacuum, they bolt in abject terror. Not only are they scared of the tall monster thing, but they suffer from a breach of trust as they see their beloved master is behind it.

It can take some mighty calming down, and maybe even a few vet visits, to get your pooches back to normal after repeated exposure to the old-school vacuum monster.

  • Money Saved: $400 per year for dog anxiety treatments

Bottom Line

While there are a few more categories you can certainly include, such as the enjoyment of a new family member that adds $0 to your grocery bill, you may be already convinced that a robot vacuum is definitely worth its salt.

Ours is a Neato Botvac Connected we lovingly named Julio. He doesn’t stink. He vacuums more thoroughly than his traditional counterpart. His back never hurts after cleaning shag carpet. And he gets along fabulously with the dogs. Not only that, but we’re saving at least $4,280 per year by adding him to our household. What a dandy savings, indeed!

robot vacuum and dog
Robot vacuum Julio and dog Elmo are becoming fast friends (as long as Julio doesn’t suck up Elmo’s treats).
Share
Posted on

Jerk o’ the Week: Woeful William

woeful william common jerk

The following is an excerpt from the Little Book of Big Jerks to give you a sneak peek at the types of jerks you’ll meet inside the guide to dealing with difficult people.

Woeful William

Just like everything King Midas touched turn to gold, everything Woeful William touches turns to, well, crap. This guy is a magnet for really bad luck.

His roof leaks. His car stalls. His pants rip. His cat hates him. At one time you actually had sympathy for the chap until you read somewhere that people with woeful outlooks actually cause their own bad luck. Now you just feel like shaking him.

3 Giveaway Traits:

  • Inspired a record number of sad country songs
  • Has had a long lineup of pets that hated him, died tragically, or both
  • Always has an empty chair on either side of him at group lunches and dinners

How to Deal:

Leave at least two empty chairs between yourself and him.

How Else to Deal:

Check out the cool jerk-fighting tools in the Little Book of Big Jerks. Real-life solutions for dealing with real-life jerks.

Share
Posted on

Have You Tried PaintNite Yet?

paintnite tucson

Sitting around talking to your dogs and binging on Netflix is absolutely dreamy, but the thrill can only last so long. Sooner or later you’ll be itching to get out of the house to protect your sanity. This usually occurs when you’re watching “Women Behind Bars” for the eighth time – or your dogs start talking back.

That’s when you know it’s time to try PaintNite.

What’s PaintNite?

Billed as the “original creative nite out,” PaintNite involves a very casual, full-of-fun group class of sorts where you all work on painting your version of whatever picture is on the canvas up front. Local artists host the event, so you’re apt to meet talented, friendly and really cool people. This counts for the teacher as well as the people in the crowd.

You don’t find too many people in bad moods when they’re eating, laughing and tapping into creativity while playing with paint. The event is held at local venues, which can include restaurants, coffee shops, hotels, bars or other places that don’t mind a bit of paint on the chairs or floor.

What You Do

Round up a few pals, whether they think they have any artistic talent or not, and promise them they’ll LOL if they go to PaintNite with you.

Head online to search for PaintNite options in your location, picking a painting that doesn’t make you vomit. (Yeah, some are pretty cheesy, but others are fabulously cool). Book your desired date, then show up to LOL.

Get there about 30 minutes early so you can order food and drinks if available. This will also help you get a seat that’s not crammed in the back with an unobstructed view of the bathroom.

Why You Need to Try It

The event is just too much fun. I attended one at Mimi’s Café in Tucson with pals Vicky and Lynn (pictured above). We laughed. We cried. We spilled things. In short, we had a rollicking good time.

OK, we didn’t cry, but we could have since we were laughing so hard. And I don’t think anyone spilled anything, either, although I did come close to making a major mess when I nearly dipped an apron string in the paint palette when I was trying to position the apron to save Vicky’s seat.

Part of the fun came from our talented instructor, Tucson artist Kimberly Tipton, whose creativity spans the board from blacksmithing to painting Van Gogh reproductions as a toddler. She set down the one and only rule for our class:

Don’t Hate on Your Painting

Everyone’s painting is going to be different, unique – and good, no matter what you may think. The point is to unleash your creative spirit and have fun, not obsess about making your painting look exactly like the example up front. Spewing negative energy not only hurts the creative flow, but it defeats the entire purpose of the evening. Let go, enjoy and love what you create instead.

 

Additional tips for making the most of PaintNite include:

Get discounted tickets: Groupon is always running PaintNite specials, and you can usually score a discount on the PaintNite website itself if you poke around enough before buying.

Don’t expect to look good in the apron: It’s green. It’s baggy. And it tends to make even athletic types look like a dowdy fat housewife. Don’t sweat it. At least it’s protecting your clothes.

Feel free to add your own creative spin: In PaintNite circles, veering away from the example painting is called “going rogue.” And Kimberly said some of the coolest PaintNite painting’s she’s seen came from those gone rogue. I went semi-rogue to add a layer of meaning to my PaintNite creation.

paintnite tucson painting
PaintNite painting gone semi-rogue.

Rogue elements include collection of yellow-eyed monsters along the terrain and spiritual beings in the sky. Clouds were crafted to pay tribute to those who have died and gone to heaven, including Dad and dog Sawyer (aka The Bubble).

Love what you see? Head to PaintNite to create your own masterpiece.

Or head to rynski’s etsy shop for additional art and inspiration.

Share