Are you a dog person or a cat person?
Yes, you can be both. And yes, you can switch sides.
I was a cat person growing up, until I discovered dogs in adulthood.
“Dogs are like needy girlfriends,” she said, noting their constant pleas for attention are akin to the flurry of texts you get from gals who feel they’re being ignored.
When dogs get too insistent, she just wants to scream “Stop texting me!’” She explained it all with a laugh.
I laughed, too. Then I immediately thought of my Belgian Tervuren Reggie who actually sits on my head when I’m lying down watching Netflix instead of him. Yep, that fits.
So if dogs are prone to falling into the needy girlfriend category, what does that make cats?
With their aloof nature and penchant for completely disregarding you, many could definitely double as the emotionally unavailable boyfriend. To make sure the idea was on the right track, I tested the theory below.
Dogs as Needy Girlfriends
|Demands to know where you are at all times||Yes||Yes|
|Checks in on you multiple times a day||Yes||Yes|
|Gets upset if you go somewhere without her||Yes||Yes|
|Gets mad if you forget her birthday||Not really||Yes|
|Gets jealous if you give attention to someone else||Yes, sometimes jealous enough to draw blood||Yes, sometimes jealous enough to draw blood|
This one appears to check out, aside from the tidbit about the birthday.
Cats as Emotionally Unavailable Boyfriends
|Cats||Emotionally Unavailable Boyfriends|
|Doesn’t bother to tell you where he’s going or when he’ll be back||Yes||Yes|
|Ducks your calls multiple times a day||Yes||Yes|
|Gets annoyed when you ask to accompany him wherever he’s going||Sometimes||Yes|
|Totally forgets your birthday||Yes||Yes|
|Doesn’t even notice if you give attention to someone else||Yes, unless it involves food or catnip||Yes|
This one aligns, too, proving the theory is correct.
The Good News
The good news is you don’t have to date your dog or cat. And not all dogs and cats will neatly fit into the needy girlfriend or emotionally unavailable boyfriend category. Not even all girlfriends and boyfriends will fall into those categories (thank goodness).
Please note this theory is all in fun, providing altogether politically incorrect stereotypes that hopefully made you at least chuckle.
Dogs and cats each have their unique quirks, which is part of the reason they’re so much fun. It’s even more fun when you learn how to work with those quirks to make a truly personal connection.
I know I’m overjoyed when Reggie rewards my constant attention with his happy little clicking noise in the back of his throat – or by moving far enough off my head so I can actually see the TV screen and breathe.
I was likewise over the moon when the cat pictured above, my pal Stephanie’s cat Witchbird, actually let me take her picture without running to hide in the closet.
Bonding with animals is a treat, whether its dogs, cats, goats or rats. This especially holds true when you fill the needs of a needy-girlfriend dog or get an emotionally-unavailable-boyfriend cat to open up or remember your birthday.
For more insights on dogs, get The Rynski Doggie Dictionary. For more insights on cats, check back later after Witchbird comes out of the closet.