A lifelong goal of many artists is to blanket the world with their creations. While many of us have gotten a leg up on this endeavor by painting rocks, designing art for our cars or even creating the occasional mural on the side of building (with owner permission, of course), most of us don’t have the cash to blanket larger things like Times Square billboards.

But who needs Times Square billboards when we got the Tucson Weekly Art Box Project.

Now in its second go-around, the Tucson Weekly Art Box Project consists of transforming the plain red, metal newspaper boxes into veritable works of art. Artists are allowed to use any medium they wish to create any design they wish, although we were duly warned that boxes that end up with nudity or profanity will get stuck in a “less desirable” location.

“Is that a Tucson Weekly newspaper box in those weeds behind the saguaro?”

The Weekly borrowed the idea from the Sacramento Register & Review, who called their undertaking the art newsrack project and ended up with boxes festooned blue birds, blue skies and eyeballs – just to name a few.

The SR&R project was deemed successful because none of the boxes were plagued by graffiti, vandalism or theft. Twas not the case for the first run of the Tucson version of the project, with several of the boxes defaced and at least one of them ripped off from its location in front of Trader Joe’s.

Project officials promised security chains are definitely part of the project this time around.

They also noted was that it was important to get the art box back in a timely fashion, not only so they can launch the project in an equally timely fashion, but because artists have this strange habit of becoming extremely attached to their creations.

They are our children, after all.

One official noted at least one box did not come back last time when the artist fell so in love with it and refused to give it up. It only makes sense we would become attached to these sweet red newspaper boxes, especially based on the process we must endure for creating the box in the first place.

The first part of the process involves obtaining the box, of course, then placing it gently where we can easily see it several times a day. Then we sit and stare at it. The staring sometimes comes with absolutely no ideas or it may come with a steady stream of fascinating visions of what we’re going to do to the box.

Then we sit and stare at it some more.

You see, it’s not always up to the artist to decide what to create. Sometimes it’s up to the art to tell us what it wants to be. My art box wanted to be funky skeletal thing named Gretel.

Her wish was my command.

Gretel and I just hope she gets picked up soon, as we are starting to become attached to each other. Even the dogs are treating her as a friend rather than the intimidating foe that first invaded the backyard. Her mission, however, is much greater than sitting around in our yard. She’s meant to serve the people of Tucson, who will hopefully find her amusing enough to leave her free of graffiti but not amusing enough to attempt to take her home to their own yards.

Say I love you! in a whopping way with our custom jumbo lucky voodoo dolls. Unlike the mean and destructive traditional voodoo dolls, our Lucky Voodoo Dolls bring fame and fortune to all people they meet. Well, not really, but they are made with love, creativity and customized to your personal tastes and interests.

The Jumbo Lucky Voodoo Dolls measure an impressive 2 feet tall, twice the size of our conventional Lucky Voodoo Dolls. Buy one for $70 or get a deal on two for $130. Shipping goes for $15 for the single or the pair.

Our bride and groom voodoo dolls make a perfectly unique wedding gift, such as the couple pictured created for the happy union of a sweet bride and groom from Texas. The two were getting married in voodoo-happy New Orleans, but the dolls will be glad to grace you anywhere in the world.

For more info or to add details to your order, email ryngargulinski@hotmail.com

Buy now with a quick click!
Please choose size and couple or single

Couple or Single

Jumbo (24") Voodoo Couple $130.00 USD Jumbo (24") Voodoo Single $70.00 USD Small (12") Voodoo Couple $60.00 USD Small (12") Voodoo Single $35.00 USD

Please note update at bottom of post

Random pizza menus jammed in the doorjamb and satellite TV offers dangling from the doorknob are bad. But one Tucson solicitor sank to an even lower low by sticking a permanent sticker in the middle of an otherwise pristine front door.

To take matters down another notch, the solicitor was selling Girl Scout cookies. While the thought of Girl Scout cookies would normally leave a warm, cozy feeling in the belly – especially the thin mints – they now instead leave bile in the back of the throat.

Perhaps that’s how dad always felt when forced to coerce his coworkers into buying cookies just so little Emily could get a free subscription to Ranger Rick magazine. I never got the free subscription, by the way.

In any event, the bile rose and the tempers flared when my guy and I tried to pry the sticker from the iron security door of the condo he’s trying to rent. It would not budge.

Most would agree a scummy sticker stuck to the front of the door does not make a good first impression. Unless, of course, the potential tenant wanted to buy Girl Scout cookies.

Well, they now had a lead with the impenetrable sticker:

If you want to buy some Girl Scout cookies, please email me at Emilyscookies00@….

Since thumbnails would not budge the sticker, and the condo is way across town, removing the sticker now became a major project. We now had to traipse back across town to retrieve razor blades, paper towel and dig out the Goo Gone from that scary crate of cleaning supplies under the sink.

Next came the 20-minute traipse back to the condo, the 10 minutes of scraping followed by another 10 minutes of swearing. The entire endeavor became a major pain-in-the-butt undertaking, costing time, money and gas back and forth across town.

So we sent the Girl Scout a bill.

We did, after all, have her email address. It was on the sticker. Defacing property with a sticker containing your email address is akin to spewing graffiti that includes your home phone and street number. According to our records, Emilyscookies now owes us $56.25. And we didn’t even include pain and suffering.

Perhaps the saddest part about all this was not having to dig through that awful crate under the sink to find the Goo Gone but to realize this person was a Girl Scout (or at least affiliated with Girl Scouts if the person who did it was Emily’s mother).

Girl Scouts should really know better. We must wonder whatever happened to Girl Scouts’ respect for the environment, which should definitely include someone’s cool blue security door. Defacing someone’s property is never respectful. Nor is it acceptable, no matter how bad little Emily pines for those Ranger Ricks.

Hopefully the bill, which Emily can finance with her cookie profits, will at least serve to teach a lesson. And we hope it’s not the lesson that most of America seems to heed: all that matters is getting ahead, no matter how many people you crush, heads you chop or condo doors you wreck along the way.

UPDATE Feb. 10, 2012 -

The Girl Scouts proved once again they are part of the upstanding and outstanding organization we have all come to know. The CEO of the Girl Scouts of Southern Arizona promptly responded, leaving a comment, a promise to speak with Emily regarding potentially destructive selling strategies and an offer to pay for the damage. Thank you! Girl Scouts. You still rule!

Web content samples by Ryn Gargulinski

Web page for vet:

From Animal-Loving Child to Emmy-Winning Vet for Pets of Hollywood Stars

With celebrity pet owners such as Magic Johnson, Tom Selleck, and Jennifer Love Hewitt, Dr. Jeff Werber’s client list often reads more like a spate of movie credits or a marquee. These and other stars seek out “Dr. Jeff” to treat their own pets, although that is not our veterinarian’s only claim to fame.

Dr. Jeff has made a name for himself in his own right, winning an Emmy from his role as the pet expert on CBS Morning News in Los Angeles. His pet medical reporting and in-depth journalism skills have also earned him national recognition as a pet expert, with appearances on CNN, Oprah, Fox News, the Rachel Ray Show, MTV, and various news programs in Hollywood and beyond.

Hollywood Pet Expert Balances Media Appearances with Compassionate Pet Care

Television and radio are not the only places to find our pet expert, as he has been running a successful Los Angeles practice for the past 27 years. Dr. Jeff first opened Century Veterinary Group in 1988 by leasing a small location not far from our vet clinic’s current location. By 2003, his practice had grown so substantially that he needed a larger and more advanced facility. He got it with our vet clinic’s current award-winning, modern building, which features state-of-the art equipment and comfortable, spacious accommodations. Our animal hospital is also accredited by the American Animal Hospital Association.

While his expertise, compassion, and dedication have merited recognition throughout Hollywood and across the nation, for Dr. Jeff it is simply the result of being true to his passion. Growing up in a household with dogs, the doctor knew he wanted to be a vet from an early age. In fact, his parents tell him that is all he ever talked about.

“With me, I think becoming a veterinarian was more of a calling than a mere childhood dream,” he says. And he dove into that calling with abandon.

His first stop was U.C. Berkley, where he received a degree in zoology in 1976. He began teaching soon after, as an instructor at California State University at Northridge’s Biology Department while enrolled in the facility’s master’s program. He earned his veterinary degree in 1984 from the University of California at Davis School of Veterinary Medicine. Our doctor held a position as an associate veterinarian during his studies and continued working for that same vet clinic for four years after obtaining his vet degree.

Our vet continues to devote his career to the care of animals and public education regarding how to best administer that care. One additional factor that cannot be ignored — even if one tries — is his enthusiasm. He views each day at his vet clinic as exciting as the first day he began his career in veterinary medicine.

Keywords: Hollywood, vet, veterinary, vet clinic, pet expert, Dr. Jeff (four times each/500 wds)

Blog for animal chiropractor:

Back Pain is Not Just for People: Animal Chiropractic Care from Charlotte Clinic

Perhaps your dog is limping for no apparent reason, your cat is slow to recover from surgery, or your horse was injured in a jump. A trip to the vet is in order, but one of the solutions might also be found with our Charlotte chiropractor Dr. Darcey Walraven Lander. While Dr. Ladner is not a veterinarian, she is an internationally certified animal chiropractor. She can also supplement standard vet care – not replace it – with chiropractic techniques for specific issues or overall wellness.

Omni Wellness Center Offers Services for People and Their Pets for Back and Neck Pain, Herniated Discs

Chiropractic care for animals is similar to chiropractics for people. Our pets have similar spinal columns packed with nerves that extend to all areas of their bodies. A misalignment, herniated disc, or other spinal issue can lead to back pain, neck pain, or pain throughout a pet’s entire frame.

Dr. Lander’s chiropractic treatments for dogs, cats, and horses include an exam, health history review, and stance and gait analysis to assess the issue. A spinal adjustment is a method that can help correct many issues. It consists of gently guiding the spine into its full range of motion so it can naturally realign itself into the proper position.

Chiropractic care can help pets suffering from pain along any area of the spinal column, including the tail, nerve problems and muscle spasms, and jaw or chewing problems. It can also help pets recover from injuries and surgeries as well as help with the healing and control of chronic internal disorders.

Animal chiropractic care can also particularly benefit older pets that are not as mobile as they used to be, as well as animals that regularly compete in athletic competitions. Chiropractic care for pets offers the same benefits it does for humans: alleviation of pain, restoration and maintenance of spinal health, and a way to help ensure the body is in optimum health using its full range of motion.

Have you ever tried alternative treatments for your pets?
Keywords: Charlotte, chiropractor, back pain, neck pain, herniated disc (twice each/350 wds)

Article for blog:

Five Creative Ways to Make Money

Clean out your closet. This also applies to your garage, basement, spare bedroom or even sticking your hand into the dust bunnies that are surely hiding beneath your bed. Your functional but no-longer-wanted stuff could earn you some cash. Go for the traditional yard sale or list the items online. Some sites, such as Craigslist.com, are free to use and come complete with local listings so you don’t even have to ship your goodies across the nation for delivery. While you’re sifting through your stuff, you might even run across things with the tags still on that you can return to the store where you bought it – provided they have a generous return policy.

Offer a service. Got a lawn mower and a green thumb? A dog leash and a love of canines? Offering a service at which you excel and are already prepared for with all the equipment can be a quick and easy, definitely a candidate as one of the five creative ways to make money. If you’re already friendly with your neighbors, you have a big plus when it comes to potential clients. Simply mention it next time you’re chatting over the fence. If you’re one of those surly neighbors who never talks to anyone, you can instead post your services online in local classified sites, in newsletters or low-cost small newspapers or even stick fliers to community bulletin boards.

Make stuff. Whether you’re an expert baker, skilled carpenter or a wacky artist, your creations might just be creative enough to earn you some cash. Peddle your wares at local fairs, have a specialized garage sale or use those online listings once again to show the world what you can whip up in a flash. You can also ask around at appropriate venues. Bring your hand-knit children’s caps to the local daycare center. Stop by the homey mom and pop bakery and see if they want to try a sample of your cookies. Once they taste how delicious they are, of course, they will certainly want to sell them – or maybe even buy your recipe.

Rent out your garage. Or your spare bedroom. Or your large outdoor shed. Find out the going rate for comparable storage space, bedroom rentals or parking spaces and add rentals to your growing list of five creative ways to make money. Any extra space you own could earn a pretty penny with a quick sweep, new rug and a fresh coat of paint. Perhaps now is the ideal time to set up that basement apartment you’ve always wanted. While you’re cleaning out the basement, you’ll probably find stuff to sell for cash, to boot.

Hunt for change. Quarters, nickels, dimes – and even pennies – can add up to pretty penny if you happen to have enough of them. Scour your couch cushions, junk drawers, long-forgotten piggy banks, car floor, pockets and anywhere else you think spare change might be lingering. Supermarkets and other convenience stores even have change sorting machines so you can pour the whole penny jar right into the device and have the machine count it for you.

Another way to hunt for change is begging on the street corner. While this endeavor can be very creative – especially if you come up with a doozy of an excuse of why you need the money – it can also be illegal. Check your local laws to ensure begging is allowed or you might have to pay out all your creative, hard-earned cash to post bail for your charge of vagrancy.

(No designated keywords/600 wds)

 Press release for website:

MyReviewsNow and Fine Jewelry Designer Judith Ripka Join in Dazzling Affiliation

A dazzling affiliation is now in effect between MyReviewsNow.net and Judith Ripka, an award-winning fine jewelry designer who is a wife, mother, grandmother, philanthropist and one of the top sellers on QVC and luxury markets worldwide. Unique and compelling are two attributes that suit both Ripka’s fine jewelry collection – and the woman herself.

Drawing inspiration from her experiences and surroundings, New York City-based Ripka’s earliest childhood memories are playing in her mother’s jewelry box. She launched her first 18k gold collection in 1977 and her fine jewelry has continued to delight, entice and bedazzle ever since.

Ripka’s fine jewelry designs suit every taste, from the truly traditional to the nouveau chic, the glamorous to the functional. Her finesse at combining fine jewelry elements is one reason behind her massive success and appeal.

“It’s about striking the balance between the elegance of a classic woman with the fashion sense of today’s modern woman,” Ripka says on her website. Such a combination results in jewelry that is as fashionable today as it was 20 years ago – or will be 20 years in the future. Her vision of excellence, translated into gold, silver and precious gems, transcends all boundaries of style, age and time.

Ripka’s astounding appeal is also due to her sheer passion for her art, which results in copious amounts of original designs every year. She personally designs an estimated 2,500 pieces of fine jewelry annually, with about 800 new styles produced and entering the market. Each piece receives Ripka’s undivided attention and personal touch to ensure it as exceptional as the women who wear it.

“When a woman is wearing my jewelry,” Ripka says, “I want her to feel as if she is wrapped in one of life’s greatest luxuries.” The topnotch fine jewelry designer easily achieves this goal by incorporating only the highest-quality metals and gems available.

Judith Ripka’s fine jewelry is renown for its use of 18k celadon gold, a gold she created herself by mixing a secret alloy that results in a soft green gold color that compliments most skin tones. The silver and white gold pieces are gently coated with a fine layer of Rhodium, a derivative of platinum, that helps prevent scratching and tarnishing while retaining the fine jewelry’s natural shine and luster.

The sparkling array of gemstones ranges from the radiant red African Ruby to the deep Yellow Beryl from Brazil. Ripka’s fine jewelry contains only the finest diamonds, with brilliant, full-cut stones for maximum refraction and reflection that result in maximum brightness and fire. Ripka also encourages women to further personalize their fine jewelry selection by offering to customize nearly any piece of jewelry with any color available on the stone chart. Clients can opt to go green and bright with jade, tourmaline or peridot or add a dark and mysterious flair with hermitite, black onyx or a deep Indian sapphire.

Ripka has spent years perfecting her own custom stone cuts and faceting to best enhance the beauty of each gem in her collection. Other signature touches in her fine jewelry line include beading and rope twists that add interest, dimension and texture and the notable lobster claw closure that graces the front of several lines. Small, enchanting hearts are also often hidden inside a ring or on the edges of other fine jewelry pieces, while her signature heart motif graces the gallery back inside each piece, proving once again her exquisite attention to detail never wanes.

Her desire to make a difference never wanes, either. Ripka’s dedication to myriad causes has earned her honors from prestigious organizations, she sits on several boards and steering committees, and the First Lady invited her to Washington in 1995 for a Women’s Leadership Council forum on children’s healthcare. Ripka aims to inspire through her art and she has created commemorative fine jewelry pieces for various organizations. Her charitable nature runs as deep as her talents, and MyReveiwsNow.net is proud of the newly formed affiliation.

Keyword: fine jewelry (as many times as possible/650 wds)

A major perk of my pal’s new job is the location; she’s thrilled she can bike or even walk the three miles to work. She says the jaunt has done wonders for her mood—not to mention her thighs—and she’s ecstatic to leave her car back home.

Too bad more Tucsonans don’t share her glee.

A goodly number of folks seem tied to their vehicles so tightly that you know they won’t dare leave home without them. Their ties bind strong, perhaps even leading into the realm of an obsession or, worse yet, a veritable addiction.

This addiction runs so deep in their octane veins that some get downright cranky when the mere thought of not being able to drive arises. This was firmly evidenced by several reactions to the idea of making Congress Street through downtown a pedestrian-only zone.

Some would simply not have it, tossing reasons about like confetti. But there may be deeper, underlying issues at work as to why some would feel naked without their cars.

The most obvious may be that people are generally getting lazier. Obesity rates back that one up, with at least 35 percent of the nation weighing in as obese in 2010.

Getting anywhere without a car means people will have to actually do that strange thing called walking. Refer to the strange activity as “exercise,” and we may get a full-fledged riot on our hands (provided, of course, that people could riot from a sitting position in their vehicles).

Another reason is the sense of security a vehicle brings. Walking makes people exposed and vulnerable. Driving encases them in at least 3,000 pounds of armor, even if the armor these days is largely polyurethane plastic.

Rather than being on display, motorists can hide inside their vehicles and be rude, obnoxious and dangerous with less of a fear of repercussions.

The shield of polyurethane lets them take on numerous roles in which they may otherwise feel foolish. The Lane Hog. The Road Rager. The Willy-Nilly Merger. The Sudden, Unexplained Stopper. If people tried out those roles without vehicular protection, they might find themselves punched in the head.

More security comes from the vehicle’s glove-box compartment and trunk, where folks can store other items they cannot leave home without. The backup shoes. The wrench. The expansive collection of non-working pens. The fresh pair of socks. The Altoids.

The sense of security can easily morph into an irrational attachment, the way Linus van Pelt is attached to his blanket. Without his little blue blanket, Linus is lost, confused and paranoid. But then again, he’s kind of like that even with the blanket.

The blanket is warm and cozy; a vehicle can provide a large amount of comfort, too. Driving around with air conditioning is exceedingly more comfortable than trudging on foot in 112-degree heat. In fact, the most-blazing summer days often seem to have the most cars on the road, leading me to believe people are driving around in cooled-off cars because their home air-conditioning unit has gone kablooey.

Status and symbolism may be another reason behind an extreme attachment to vehicles. Cars, trucks and monster SUVs are rolling billboards that showcase your wealth, style or midlife crises. They also illustrate your eco-friendliness if you’re driving a hybrid, your machismo in a Hummer, and your cool disdain of everyone around you with bumper stickers that read things like: “Horn broken, watch for finger.”

Big cars can display a big ego while those dinky, roller-skate-looking things show a free spirit, or at least someone who has neither kids nor dogs.

Cars stream about Tucson consistently, making us wonder where all these people are going. Last month’s national unemployment rate was at less than 9 percent, but it’s tough to imagine all those drivers having such widely staggered work hours.

There’s no arguing that autos can provide, in theory, a faster way to get from point A to point B. But that theory doesn’t work when a 10-mile ride can take more than an hour.

For those who are so auto-bound they must drive around Tucson for pleasure, we’d hate to see what they do for torture. But we can bet that whatever it is, they do it in their cars.

Add a funky bit of eternal charm to your home or office with customized skeleton caricatures, skeleton signs and skeleton cartoons. Caricatures can be of you, your pets, your loved ones – or a fun combination of all of them in a full-fledged skeleton family portrait.

Choose from the boring old posed shots or action shots with the skeleton cartoon performing the person’s favorite activity. Skeletons laughing. Skeletons reading or writing. Skeletons running track. Skeletons riding a bike.

All you need to do is provide a description and/or photo of the person, pets or people you want replicated and any additional details. Background options include white, solid colors or patterns.

Each personalized skeleton caricature order includes a hi-res jpeg delivered to your inbox, suitable for printing at 8 x 10 size – and truly suitable for framing.

You can also have fun setting the image as your desktop or having it printed on canvas, T-shirts and a variety of items of your choice.

Skeleton caricatures go for $35/each. Email ryn@deathisdeadly.com with questions or to provide photo or additional details on your personalized skeleton. Buy it now with button below:

Once upon time in a land as close as your nearest computer, you could call this thing called a help desk if you needed a fix with technical issues of one sort or another.

Each manufacturer had its own help desk service, each stocked with people familiar with its products and issues surrounding them.

A helpful-sounding someone would answer the phone, listen to your problem, and then offer a solution. If the first fix did not work, the person would keep trying until your issue was resolved, or at least as close to a resolution as you could come without ripping all the wires out and hurling your computer and related gadgets out the window.

Even if the help desk helper was unable to fix your problem, the call was usually worth your while. At least you knew you had been supported by someone who knew what you were talking about and what was going on.

All that has changed.

That thing called a help desk has instead morphed into more of a hell desk, where you no longer reach knowledgeable staff but random overseas workers who follow a written-out script regardless of your particular problem.

The script includes a number of steps that, in a recent particular case, served not to fix the problem but actually make it worse.

A wireless router that worked to network five out of six home devices ended up barely working for one after a week of lengthy hell desk calls. The “barely” working comes into play since the router only now functions if you unplug it systematically several times over the course of the day.

The amount of times you need to unplug the router is in direct ratio to the importance, intricacy and deadline of the work being performed online. Browsing the web for new shoes leaves the router connection intact for hours. Finishing up tedious research on a data-crammed government website for an article due in one hour has the router going down every five minutes.

The hell desk workers followed a script that included changing IP address, the password, removing the network from the system without setting up a new one, and an explanation from me what Roku was. Although the hell desk worker insisted setting up a new network to replace the old one would not solve the problem, I did so on the sly and got at least one computer working with wireless.

After a total of three hell desk phone calls over the course of the week, the only knowledge I was left with was that
the workers cannot vary from the same old script and still have no idea what Roku is.

It was time to turn to other channels for help, somewhere with a bit more expertise. So I randomly searched the internet with the phrase: “router doesn’t work.” Three ads for new routers and a random ad for losing belly fat came up, as did an “Ask the expert” option.

So I asked him. Unlike the nameless, faceless Jeeves that has since retired, asking this expert came with a little box containing his photo and credentials. Nothing says either were for real, but his picture did look geeky enough to make me think he would know what to do to fix a wireless fiasco.

After entering the issue, history of actions, make, model and age of every home device that was not working properly, I only had one more step to complete before this expert would grant me a solution.

I had to click a box that said I’d pay $28.95 for an answer. Yeah, right.

Back to the router reset, the frustration and the search for a brand new router – from a different manufacturer – which is scheduled to arrive within the next few days. Hopefully it has a manual included for free that answers many questions that arise, especially since the purchase took away more than the $30 I’d need to pay for an expert. And I’m in no mood to get intimate with yet another company’s hell desk.

Perhaps your grandpa is a practical joker. Or your mom is a taskmaster. Or your brother is simply a kook.

Custom family and friends signs can showcase their idiosyncrasies – and add a bit of humor – with personalized Beware signs.

Beware of Grandpa is pictured as an example, although each sign is created as per your personal specifications, from the colors to the shapes – and no extra charge if you need someone fat.

Variations:
Custom family and friend sign options go beyond the “Beware.” Pick any saying of your choice with any individual of your choice. You can also go for a double-dose with a sign featuring a couple, such as the one custom sign pictured with a couple enjoying their hot tub.

Colors and sizes are you choice, as are any personal options such as “Beware of Jenny” if your cat is named Jenny.

Why you need it:
In addition to being the best personalized gift, the signs are pretty dang funny. They can also save lives, or at least obligations from chores, if you heed the “Beware” of taskmaster moms.

How I made it:
Metal yard art is created with love and care by first cutting out shape from sheet metal, filing down the edges with a Dremel and pounding out kinks with a flat hammer and anvil combination that the neighbors and my dogs hate.

Specs:
Weather resistant, rust-resistant paint finished off with clear coat.
Wire loop for easy hanging. Two-tone body hues.

Prices depend in sizes:
$45 for custom cat sign approx. 18 by 14 inches
$40 for custom cat sign approx. 16 by 12 inches
$35 for custom cat sign approx. 14 by 10 inches

$5 bargain shipping in the U.S.

Please e-mail ryngargulinski@hotmail.com for a custom order or for more information.

Terms:
Custom art ships out in five business days at most; typically sooner.

Buy now with a simple click:

Sizes

Large $45.00 USD Medium $40.00 USD Small $35.00 USD

Despite Tucson’s copious amounts of crosswalks, being a pedestrian in Old Pueblo means taking your life in your hands.

Many motorists have neither patience nor tolerance for pedestrians, with 2010 Tucson Police Department statistics showing seven pedestrians hit and killed by vehicles and 210 hit and injured, with 52 of them hit and runs. Statistics from 2011 are even worse, with at least 16 pedestrians killed by vehicles and 220 injured, with a total of 71 hit and runs.

Man versus car does not fare well for the man.

All that could soon change, at least in a little pocket of town, with Mayor Jonathan Rothchild’s revival of a long-dead proposal of making Congress Street open to pedestrians only. The proposal was shot down in the past, and may be again because it still has one big problem: it’s much too limited.

Shutting off Congress to traffic will only make the die-hard drivers shuttle their vehicles to the surrounding streets, making them more clogged up and blocked than they already are. To truly benefit from transforming any downtown area into a pedestrian-only jubilee, the proposal needs to go the whole hog to get rid of road hogs and make all of downtown vehicle-free.

Those who cry and moan that’s there is nothing to see downtown don’t go there anyway, so it would not matter either way if cars, trucks, buses and those strangle little vehicles that look like motorized shoe boxes are allowed or banned.

The rest of the downtown complaints are valid and could even be fixed with a no-traffic downtown proposal. For starters, it’s not like there is ample parking down there. Unless you happen to have a Jetson car which folds neatly into an easily portable briefcase, you’ll end up circling the blocks for eons while trying not to make a wrong-way turn down one of the one-way streets.

Lots and areas that used to provide free parking are tough to come by. Two were recently annihilated with one being transformed into a paid parking area while the other was fenced off and filled with cinder blocks. Metered parking can be a joke since it involves high-tailing it back to feed the thing every so often after subjecting your car to dents, dings and scratches from that contortionist activity called parallel parking.

Jaunting about downtown is another joke, especially in a vehicle. The traffic moves slower than a limping dog, which means you could walk faster than you can drive and there is not much point in driving. Wrong-way turns, red-light runners and motorists texting down Broadway add layers of danger to crossing the road.

Making downtown traffic-free could turn the imbecilic set-up into a pedestrian oasis where people are free to stroll, jaunt and window-shop without worrying about being rundown by an impatient SUV. Granted, we’d have to get a bit more windows to shop in, but once shop keepers realize how so much downtown foot traffic can benefit their businesses, they may be breaking down the empty storefronts to be first to sign the lease.

Of course people will still need to drive to get downtown in the first place, in which case a perimeter of parking can be established around the central pedestrian-only zone. Any parking facilities that fall into the vehicle-free area can easily be transformed into open-air markets, such as the annual parking garage flea mart in Royal Oak, Michigan, that sells an array of wacky items that once included a medieval mace.

Walking can improve your health, elevate your mood and create some killer butt muscles, but it’s evident not enough folks enjoy it. If we eliminate the traffic puttering willy-nilly through downtown, we’ll have a prime walking zone that benefits many. Those who would rather drive than walk a half-block to a coffee shop can get their java elsewhere. They can steer clear of downtown – literally – and let the pedestrians play.

There are plenty of places around town where you can sit trapped in traffic, but there are not enough places to enjoy a walk about town without getting mowed down. Downtown should be one of them.

Hide the children and secure the goats – a Chupacabra was spotted in Tucson. Although this creepy creature was originally born of Puerto Rican myth, it has since materialized and made its way across several continents.

The coyote-like critter has enjoyed sightings throughout the 1980s in South America, spent a bulk of the 1990s in Mexico and has been currently roaming through parts of the Southwestern United States.

Carcasses thought to be Chupacabras have actually been DNA tested after they were brought to the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department. The results only proved the dead things were “some type of coyote,” although their snout and back legs exceeded the length of those found on a coyote. They also reportedly had large fangs jutting up from their bottom jaws.

The fangs surely helped give them their name, which translates from the Spanish as “goat sucker.” In addition to sucking goat blood, they are also known to attack small livestock like chicken and ducks and larger animals like cattle and horses but have never gone for a human.

KGUN9’s Chief Meterologist Erin Christiansen didn’t see fangs on the beast that was caught like, well, a chupacabra in the headlights in front of her car, but she did get a pretty good glimpse of the critter as it skittered across Speedway, west of Camino Seco, earlier this month.

“Seriously,” she wrote in an email, “I don’t know if what I saw was really a Chupacabra, but I can say that I’ve never seen anything like this animal before.

“What I saw was just a very strange looking animal. It was slightly larger than a coyote, no fur, leathery looking skin. It was mostly black with gray and brown splotches. It had a long rat-looking tail. Its face looked like a bat with disproportionately large ears, which also reminded me of a bat.”

Christiansen’s sighting is not the only time an inexplicable creature reared its creepy head in Old Pueblo. About 20 years back, my fiancé and a pal were sitting in their truck along South Houghton near an old corral.

“A thing came walking out of the desert,” he says. “It looked like a bear walking on two feet and had kind of like a cow’s head. We called him buffalo man. I don’t know what it was. I’ve never seen anything like that.”

While the buffalo man does not share some of the traits as the beast seen by Christiansen, variations on the Chupacabra do exist. It’s been described as having the body of a bat, the body of a kangaroo or sprouting thick wings.

Creepy? You bet.

Crazy? No way.

It takes a lot of guts to admit seeing a Chupacabra, or even a strange beast that may have been a Chupacabra. Kudos to Christiansen and Mr. fiancé for being so bold – and illustrating the beauty of an open mind.

When people close off their minds, horrible things can happen. They get stuck in a rut of the mundane, dismissing or attacking all that cannot be explained. They eradicate the mystery and fun from life and replace it with the banal – then wonder why they’re so cranky.

Lighten up, keep an open mind and enjoy life’s possibilities. And don’t forget to hide the children and secure the goats.