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Woodstock tribute ’09: No naked hippies, but plenty of music

Woodstock is just one more example of why some of us were born too late.

But even if we missed the amazing three-day fest in 1969, we can pay tribute to it 40 years later with the KXCI Woodstock Tribute Concert at the Rialto Theatre on Saturday, Aug. 15.

Couple on the scene/AP file photo
Couple on the scene/AP file photo

Sure, the Tucson tribute may not include thousands of naked hippies rollicking in mud, but we can also bet there will be no births, deaths, or shots fired in the air by an irate farmer upset by all the noise.

Can’t say if there will be any drug arrests or bad acid trips, however.

Tickets are on sale now at Rialto Theatre. All proceeds go to support our favorite local station – “real people, real music” – 91.3 FM KXCI Community Radio.

What: KXCI Woodstock Tribute Concert
When: Aug. 15, doors open 4 p.m., show starts at 5 p.m.
Where: Rialto Theatre, 318 E. Congress St; 740-1000
Tickets: $11 gen. admission, $16 reserved balcony
Free for 12 and under with paying adult. Fees may apply.
Rialto box office open noon to 6 p.m., Monday to Friday

We already have a slate of confirmed performers, although KXCI Director Randy Peterson said, “We are not saying who is covering who – or even who is covering The Who.”

Confirmed artists:
Al Perry; Andrew Collberg; Lovemound; The Wayback Machine; Cathy Rivers; Loveland; Leila Lopez & Courtney Robbins; The Tryst; Michael P.; Jo Wilkinson and Top Dead Center.

Were these people there?/Photo of photo in Arivaca coffee shop by Ryn Gargulinski
Were these people there?/Photo of photo in Arivaca coffee shop by Ryn Gargulinski

To get you in the mood, here are some fun facts on Woodstock by the numbers:

The groovy:

2 – Babies born at the festival
31 – Musical acts scheduled for main stage
51 – Caldrons of rice-carrot-raisin combo made for Sunday morning breakfast at Hog Farm Free Kitchen
60,000 – People expected to attend
315,000 – People who never made it there but tried
400,000 – People who attended

The grungy:

10 – Shots fired in air by farmer disgruntled by all the ruckus
80 – Lawsuits filed following the festival
90 – Percent of attendees who smoked weed
133 – Arrests on narcotic and other drug charges
400 – Bad acid trips
600 – Portable toilets

800+ – Cops – includes 150 volunteer cops; 346 off-duty NYC police hired at $50/each per day, 100 local sheriffs and hundreds of state troopers and deputies from 12 counties

10 million – number of yards of denim and striped T-shirt material in the audience (it did not specify if this was on their bodies or off)

The ugly:

1 – Case of pneumonia
1 – Diabetic coma
3 – Tracheotomies performed on site
3 – Deaths: one heroin overdose, one ruptured appendix and one person run over by a tractor. Ouch.
4 – Miscarriages

Woodstock price list:

$1 – hotdog
$4 – hit of acid or mescaline
$6.50 – advance price of single day ticket ($8 at gate)
$15 – ounce of marijuana
$18 – advance price of three-day ticket ($24 at gate)

Source: Woodstock69.com

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Were you at the original Woodstock?

Did you give birth, get arrested?

Even if you weren’t there, what performer is your favorite?

When folks even mention Woodstock,does Country Joe and the Fish run through your head?

Have you been to any Woodstock tributes in the past, like the version in Rome, N.Y., in 1999 that ended up full of fire, smoke and feces?

Read a Tucsonan’s version of hippiedom on Retroflections blog.

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The glory of mud

Mud gets a bad rap. It’s dirty. It’s messy. And it’s historically been the reason behind many matted shag carpets or smeary footprints on white linoleum.

But there’s another side of mud, the marvelous and miraculous side, that cannot go unnoted.

Oregon marsh mud/Photo Ryn Gargulinski
Oregon marsh mud/Photo Ryn Gargulinski

A bee sting made my finger swollen, stiff and itchy. It hit its intolerable peak while I was in Moon Smoke Shop and I began rubbing it like a mad woman.

I mentioned it to the guy behind the counter because I had this strange feeling that the guys at Moon Smoke Shop, specifically the one on the corner of Grant Road and Alvernon Way, would know what to do for a bee sting. They did.

“Pack it in mud,” the manager/owner said. He explained this folk remedy supposedly sucked the stinger out as the mud dried.

While it may seem somewhat stupid to pack germy, wet dirt around a swollen bee sting sore, which was now ripped open after I tried to gouge out the invisible stinger with tweezers, I gave it a whirl.

More marsh mud/Photo Ryn Gargulinski
More marsh mud/Photo Ryn Gargulinski

The instant I packed the mud around the sore, the soothing began. The pulsing went down. It stopped itching. My finger felt like it was encased in a soft, cozy cocoon.

By the time the mud dried and flaked off, the swelling was gone and my finger could bend.

Mud not only sucks out bee stingers, but it is known to be equally effective for sucking other toxins from the body. Mud masks and mud wraps are in high demand, especially for the gads of tourists who flock to the ultra-healing black mud by the Dead Sea.

People are digging it (excuse the pun).

Even if you don’t care to heal yourself with mud, you can always wrestle in it, name your band Primus and write a song about it, or use it in the title of a poem:

Catapault/Illustration Ryn Gargulinski
Catapault/Illustration Ryn Gargulinski

Soap Would be the Opposite of Mud
The Antonym Poem by Ryn Gargulinski

insects are
the opposite of frogs
(if we had to pick opposites)
cats would be the opposite
of dogs and fish would be
the opposite of birds and
hats would be the opposite
of shoes and the Charleston
would be
as opposed to
an epileptic seizure

_____

Since arid Tucson is not usually known for its mud, I’ll share the recipe I used to make my own.
Mud recipe:
2 parts dirt
1 part water
Stir well with stick

Mud, o glorious, mud/Photo Ryn Gargulinski
Mud, oh glorious mud/Photo Ryn Gargulinski

Of course, mud still has its dangers. We already discussed the havoc it can wreck on shag rugs and white linoleum, but it can also pose a number of other hazards.
• Mudslides kill thousands when they slickly shimmy down a mountain and consume entire villages
• Mud can suffocate you if you fall face down in a gushy pool of it and try to inhale
• Heavy mud can suck off your shoes and render them useless
• Mud clumps, when thrown at anyone who scores on you as goalie in a soccer game, get you a red card (not that I’d know from experience).

Share your own mud recipe below!

How has mud enhanced or ruined your life?

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