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Easter Peeps experiment: How long do marshmallow chicks last in Arizona summer?

Easter season would not be complete without Peeps, the sickly sweet marshmallow treats that have been rotting kids’ teeth for more than 50 years.

Although the sugary snacks have several claims to fame – such as their astounding array of colors that now include bright blue and shapes that go way beyond Easter chicks – their main claim to fame is their shelf life.

Peeps supposedly stay fresh, sweet and edible for an incredible two years. That is, of course, if you keep them wrapped in their plastic, far from greedy little fingers – and out of the Arizona sun.

We wanted to test Peeps longevity through a Tucson summer so we stuck them on a stick in a tree last March, right before Easter 2010.

You’ll be amazed and perhaps even surprised at what we found.

First off, Peeps do not melt in the Arizona sun. They instead become hard and dense, not unlike those sugar roses on wedding cakes you’re not supposed to eat but still try to every time.

Although we did not take a bite of the hardened Peeps, and placed them high enough in the tree to avoid the dogs’ gaping maws, we did poke them repeatedly with a stick. Even the thorns of a mesquite branch could not penetrate the hardened marshmallow rocks.

Despite not melting in the sun, the harmful ultraviolet rays did, however, do a number on their color. By early April, the Peeps’ bright blue was already becoming a somber cornflower color.

Old people get no respect: Targets of crime, discrimination, rudeness, hate – Ever wonder why?

The real fear of getting old is not having our skin sag, our joints ache or our teeth fall out – it’s the fear of being treated like crap.

oldmanfunnyface — Perhaps one man's take on society's rudeness/Thinkstock

Such has largely become the case for the older generation these days, with a litany of society’s rude behavior towards them to prove it.

Let’s start with the Facebook page entitled “I Hate Old People” – that’s right. It’s a page with more than 2,300 members and a captivating photo of an elderly woman giving viewers the bird.

The page description, along with a number of other online rants, complain about everything from old people hair nets to their aroma.

“Old people smell funny,” complained one of my friends who wished to remain anonymous.

“When I was a kid all the old people had their pants pulled up to their armpits, wore suspenders, and treated me like a slave,” he none too fondly recalls.

While my pal cannot explain what he has against suspenders, he does admit that he’s softened his view a bit after meeting a few older folks that he actually likes. We also have to wonder if his turning 54 years old had anything to do with it.

Others remain rude, crude and downright disrespectful to the elderly.

New 2011 calendars feature roadkill, nudie Barbie dolls – Rynski Radio – UPDATE with playlist, download

You can kick off 2011 in a, shall we say, interesting way with a couple of calenders sure to inspire plenty of conversation.

sawyerhat — If roadkill and nudie Barbie calendars don't work, try the Sawyer Says calendar at www.cafepress.com/ryndustries

One features 12 gloriously gruesome shots of roadkill. Another shows off Barbie – probably more of Barbie than you want to see, since she appears both solo and in some intimate lesbian poses.

Illegal alien achieves dream of staying in America: Federal prison term for kicking, throwing rocks at Border Patrol

Jaime Martinez-Garcia, of Guaymas, Sonora, Mexico, was apparently not going to let anything stand in his way of achieving his goal of living in the United States.

amerdream — The 'American Dream' is tangible for everyone/Thinkstock

Not even deportation. And surely not U.S. Border Patrol agents, whom he reportedly kicked and threw rocks at when they tried to stand in his way.

Martinez-Garcia’s dream of remaining in the U.S. came true this week when a federal judge in Tucson sentenced him to six years in federal prison, according to a news release from the District of Arizona Office of the United States Attorney.

His sentence came after a jury at his August trial found him guilty of two counts of assault on a federal officer and one count of illegal re-entry after deportation.

His success story began with a challenge from the get-go, as he was caught after illegally entering the United States and shuttled back to Mexico May 20, 2009.

Not to be deterred by that annoying thing called deportation, Martinez-Garcia returned to U.S. soil three days later.

But this time, alas, he encountered Border Patrol agents in Potrero Canyon, west of Nogales. When they told him to stop, he instead kicked one of the agents in the leg and ran.

Another agent nearly caught up with Martinez-Garcia when the Mexican man stopped and picked up a big rock. The agent drew his weapon and ordered Martinez-Garcia to put down the rock. So he threw it at the agent, hitting him in the leg.

Martinez-Garcia then picked up another rock and, once again, was ordered to drop it. He did not. The agent fired.

The release did not note where Martinez-Garcia was hit with the bullet, but we know the injury was not life-threatening as he was alive enough to attend his trial and alive enough to receive a federal prison term.

He was sentenced by U.S. District Judge David C. Bury.

Way to go, Martinez-Garcia. Perhaps he can serve as an example to others who try, but fail, to start a new life in this blooming land of opportunity.

The quote:

“U.S. Border Patrol agents patrol hundreds of deserted miles in our vast Southwestern Deserts protecting our border every day,” said U.S. Attorney Dennis K. Burke. “Just as our citizen’s safety is a priority for them, their safety is a priority of ours.”

The players:

The investigation in this case was conducted by Federal Bureau of Investigation and the United States Border Patrol. The prosecution was handled by Ann DeMarais, Assistant U.S. Attorney, District of Arizona, Tucson.

[tnipoll]

What do you think?

Do you think a prison term is a ploy to stay in the U.S.?

Are prison terms the way to go in such cases?

Thieves hit new low robbing preschool, stealing student hearing aide equipment: Fourth burglary for Vail campus

While thieves were never at the top of the list of upstanding citizens to begin with, a few went to new lows by robbing a preschool over the Thanksgiving weekend.

schoolvandal-Mesquite1 — Thieves hit Mesquite Elementary, 9455 E. Rita Rd, over the Thanksgiving weekend/submitted photo

A preschool. Isn’t there some kind of moral code against that?

It gets even better. One of the items stolen during the thieves’ two-day haul from Vail’s Mesquite Elementary School and its campus preschool was hearing aide equipment used and owned by a deaf student.

We wonder if taking the proverbial candy from a baby is next on their list.

The thieves first hit Friday night, Nov. 26, by stealing into the elementary school’s classrooms at 9455 E. Rita Road and ripping 15 projectors out of their ceiling mounts as well as ripping off wireless airports, routers and a host of other equipment, a news release from the Vail School District said.

The burglars also rifled through teachers’ cabinets and desks, taking their computers and other items.

That’s the night they hit the campus preschool, running off with a WII Game Console and games that were part of the preschool program.

School officials hired a security team to watch the campus Saturday, but the thieves apparently had a lot of time on their hands.

They simply waited until security personnel finished their night watch and left at 5 a.m. Sunday. Then thieves broke in again.

schoolvandalMesquite3 — Thieves hit Mesquite Elementary, 9455 E. Rita Rd, over the Thanksgiving weekend/submitted photo

That time around they pilfered 12 more projectors and another haul of equipment including laptops, routers and airports, as well as did more rummaging through teacher cabinets and desks.

The school does have an alarm system, the release notes, but the system does not cover the classrooms. Perhaps it should, as the Thanksgiving weekend burglary was the fourth time Mesquite Elementary has been hit this year.

With school budgets scraping the bottom of the barrel, however, we wonder where the money would come from to install a more comprehensive security system.

In the meantime, school administration urges anyone with information on these vandals and bandits to contact the school.

School officials are appealing to the community for information about the vandalism and thefts. Please contact Superintendent Baker at 403-8835 or Principal Katherine (Katie) Dabney at 437-3874.

[tnipoll]

schoolvandalMesquite2 — Theives hit Mesquite Elementary, 9455 E. Rita Rd, over the Thanksgiving weekend/submitted photo

What do you think?

Is robbing a preschool as low as you can go?

How should schools protect their equipment?

6 kooky reasons to be a glad American this Thanksgiving and holiday season

Now that the turkey’s down the hatch with the Stove Top stuffing and green bean casserole, it’s time to sit back, relax and recall the real reason for Thanksgiving.

burgerman — McDonald's and Wal-Mart - combined! - make for some heavy gratitude/Thinkstock

Gratitude.

We can start by remembering there will be no more green bean casserole for at least another year.

We can continue by counting other myriad blessings America continues to offer.

Sure, our nation has been in tumult these past several years, but there is still ample reason to cheer. After all, we’re not being indefinitely locked up in a Turkish prison for smuggling antiquities we thought were cheap souvenirs.

And we’re not buried up to our waist being stoned to death somewhere in Iran.

We’re in America, dang it, and there is so much for which to be thankful. We’ll keep it brief with a total of six kooky reasons, including the green bean thing, to be glad we’re here in America.

Our Wal-Marts sometimes house a McDonald’s. This fine coupling exists right here in Tucson with the Wal-Mart-McDonald’s combination at 7150 E. Speedway Blvd. The two entities nestle like lovebirds in a single building, waiting for us to buy cheap furniture and fatty fries in one fell swoop.

Can’t make a large percentage of large Americans much happier than that.

Freedom of speech is aloud and well. From nasty anonymous Internet comments to angry slurs and signs, Americans are free to speak their minds. Well, most of the time.

Just don’t tick off the President. Velma Hart, a chief financial officer for the Maryland veterans’ organization AM Vets, found that out when she told Mr. President she was fed up with the state of the nation with him at the helm.

“Quite frankly, I’m exhausted,” she told President Barack Obama at a September town hall meeting that was broadcast on CNBC. “Exhausted of defending you, defending your administration, defending the man for change I voted for, and deeply disappointed with where we are right now.”

Guess what? She got fired.

Of course, her employer blames budgetary reasons, but what a coincidence.

Creative money earning is another benefit in this Land of Opportunity. Once we speak out, like Hart, and get fired, we can always turn to creative outlets to rake in some cash. We can babysit poodles, do a McDonald’s run for rich folks, sell creepy artwork or, if we’re really in a money crunch, we can always sue someone.

Frivolous lawsuits continue to pile up like dirty dishes. Americans thoroughly enjoy the practice of suing the pants off each other. Here in the Land of the Freely suing, nothing is sacred.

One man sued Providence Hospital in 2002 for $2 million, saying the hospital was negligent because he was able to get away with raping one of its patients.

A woman sued Universal Studios in 2000 for $15,000, saying she suffered mental anguish, emotional distress and extreme fear after paying a visit to its Halloween Horror Nights haunted house.

And then there’s the McDonald’s manager, although he was in Brazil, not America, who sued the Illinois-based restaurant chain for making him fat over his 12 years of service there. He was awarded $17,500.

No word on if he was also suing Wal-Mart for perhaps being too heavy for its cheap furniture after habitually feasting at his job.

At least President Obama is at the helm, which gives us one more reason to be grateful. Even though the country has not magically turned around and even though people like Hart get fired for speaking their minds about the state of the nation, Obama is still a blessing. At least he’s not George W. Bush.

Happy holidays.

[tnipoll]

–

Ryn Gargulinski is a poet, artist, performer and TucsonCitizen.com Ryngmaster who is most grateful for her dogs, family and Beezel, not necessarily in that order. Her column appears every Friday on Rynski’s Blogski. Her art, writing and more is at RynRules.com and Rynski.Etsy.com. E-mail rynski@tucsoncitizen.com.

P.S. Ryn is also grateful to have Friday and Monday off and will return Tuesday.

What do you think?

Do you ever make a gratitude list? What’s on it?

What’s your favorite thing about being an American?

What’s your least favorite?

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