Every tax seasons we’re inundated with tons of articles giving us list after list of savvy tips for taxes. But this particular list goes one better. Instead of serving up suggestions for doing your taxes, it serves up suggestions for avoiding them.
Welcome to the master tax procrastination list. It even comes complete with rationalizations so you can tell yourself these activities are actually going to help you with your taxes in the long run.
Clean Your Closet
This one was always my go-to activity when I didn’t feel like studying for final exams in college. My Grandma G also used to do it on holidays. While we thought grandma’s closet cleaning schedule was strange at the time, in hindsight it’s the perfect way to avoid having to make small talk with a bunch of guests. It’s likewise the perfect way to delay your taxes for hours, if not days on end.
How to rationalize that it helps with taxes:
A messy closet makes for a messy mind. And you don’t want a messy mind when you’re trying to add up 32 pages of numbers.
Feed Your Dogs
Fed dogs are happy dogs, and it’s important to surround yourself with happiness when you’re sadly drudging through your taxes. Besides, you can easily turn this activity into an extended project if their dinner comes with dessert and a post-meal playtime at the dog park in Phoenix.
How to rationalize that it helps with taxes:
It’s impossible to concentrate on anything, especially taxes, when you have hungry hounds begging at your feet.
Feed Yourself
Remember how great it felt to clean out your closet? Do the same for the fridge. Perhaps you have a half-carton of eggs expiring tomorrow, or salsa that’s sure to go bad by next week. Whip up a Mexican omelet. Now’s also a great time to try one of those new, complicated recipes that takes at least two hours to create.
How to rationalize that it helps with taxes:
It’s impossible to concentrate on taxes when your stomach is churning, burning and growling for an omelet with salsa.
Take a Shower
Taxes are a job, which means you want to perform the usual lineup of pre-job activities before you start. Taking a shower is one of them. You can stretch this activity out by deep-conditioning your hair, cleaning the shower stall, and mixing and mingling different salt scrubs and body washes until you find the exact combination that suits your mood.
How to rationalize that it helps with taxes:
You need to be sharp, clean, invigorated – and lightly scented by vanilla-rosemary-peppermint-sea salt – for best results with taxes.
Take a Walk
Walk around the block. Walk to the nearest bus stop. Take a quick hike in the desert, or head to that little shop down the block you always wanted to check out. It doesn’t matter if the block happens to be five miles long. In fact, that’s even better.
How to rationalize that it helps with taxes:
With the power to boost your mood and alleviate stress, taking a walk is an ideal way to prep for the hours of sitting that your taxes ensure are in store.
Take a Nap
Taking a nap is not only logical, but imperative at this point. After all, you’re kind of tuckered out after cleaning the closet, feeding the dogs, making an omelet, taking a shower and walking 10-miles round-trip to that little shop down the block.
How to rationalize that it helps with taxes:
You definitely need to be well-rested and sharp if you have any hope of properly adding, subtracting, or determining if you’re eligible for that farm tax credit thing.
Now that you have some creative ways to procrastinate on your taxes, along with solid rationalizations, you should have no problem putting them off without feeling the least amount of guilt. All these activities are definitely essential for ensuring you get your taxes done right, although they can’t guarantee you’ll get them done on time.
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