Maybe it’s a family member supposedly stranded in Nigeria who needs you to send them money, a random person in Topeka who wants to send you a $1 million USD inheritance, or a dire warning that your Apple ID has been compromised (even though you’ve used Apple nothing your entire life).
We’ve all had more than our fair share of email scams, and they keep getting more ridiculous by the millisecond. The latest case in point appears below.
Just when you thought scam emails couldn’t get any more ludicrous, an urgent email from “Wilford Bennett” showed up in my junk email folder. I regularly review my junk mail because, alas, some non-junky mail does end up in there while other obvious crap still streams into my inbox.
In any event, I neither recall the subject line of this bizarre email nor what prompted me to actually open and read it. But here comes the verbatim text below:
Scam Email Text
Note: I left misspellings and other faux pas as is to further highlight the email’s (non)credibility.
From: Wilford Bennett, 915@420.900
rynski, you don’t know me and you’re thinking why you received this e mail, right?
Well, I actually placed a malware on the porn website and guess what, you visited this web site to have fun (you know what I mean). While you were watching the video, your web browser acted as a RDP (Remote Desktop) and a keylogger which provided me access to your display screen and webcam. Right after that, my software gathered all your contacts from your Messenger, Facebook account, and email account.
What exactly did I do?
I made a split-screen video. First part recorded the video you were viewing (you’ve got a fine taste haha), and next part recorded your webcam (Yep! It’s you doing nasty things!).
What should you do?
Well, I believe, $1200 is a fair price for our little secret. You’ll make the payment via Bitcoin to the below address (if you don’t know this, search “how to buy bitcoin” in Google).
BTC Address: 18AVxMK2KHimbrTJVEeUYM3LxLfD9RoR3o
(It is cAsE sensitive, so copy and paste it)Important:
You have 24 hours in order to make the payment. (I have an unique pixel within this email message, and right now I know that you have read this email). If I don’t get the payment, I will send your video to all of your contacts including relatives, coworkers, and so forth. Nonetheless, if I do get paid (after payment, send an email to misszero@protonmail.com), I will erase the video immidiately. If you want evidence, reply with “Yes!” and I will send your video recording to your 5 friends. This is a non-negotiable offer, so don’t waste my time and yours by replying to this email.
Why I Knew It Was a Scam
While some email scams may be savvy enough for folks to ALMOST fall for them, this one was a loser from the get-go for several reasons:
- I don’t visit porn sites. Heck, I’m the type that even gets annoyed when I’m searing for photos to use from royalty-free, free stock photo sites and inevitably photos with “adult content” show up during the most innocuous searches.
- No one in my household would use my computer to visit porn sites. The dogs have their own computer and, besides, their porn consumption has decreased dramatically ever since both have been neutered.
- If my webcam did record anything I did, it would show me boringly sitting at my computer typing.
- The ransom is way too low. C’mon, if “Wilford Bennett” did indeed have embarrassing video footage of a person as outlined, you’d think the person would pay more than $1,200 to stop it from hitting the masses, no?
The Bottom Line
Even if email scams are obviously not getting more sophisticated, they are indeed getting more amusing. A round of applause for “Wilford Bennett” for creating the most amusingly ridiculous one yet.
