Dating an astronaut. Becoming an astronaut. Learning to speak Swahili. Your bucket list may be packed with all kinds of glorious things you want to do before you die; some tangible, some fantastical and some just for the fun of the thought.

And the thought of certain activities can be much more exciting that actually completing them. Think climbing Mount Everest or breeding lemurs.

That makes the traditional bucket list a bit impractical. The traditional list also has another factor working against it. Although the phrase and concept of a bucket list have been kicking around for years (excuse the pun), the term really roared into regular use after the release of the 2007 movie of the same name.

Subsequent mentions on TV shows that range from “Glee” to “NCIS” further cemented the concept into popular culture. And when anything soars into popular culture, you know what needs to happen next.

It’s time to rebel.

Enter ‘The Septic Bucket List’

The Septic Bucket List is a newly released illustrated humor book by Ryn Gargulinski (aka yours truly). Instead of a list of oh-so-happy things to do before you die, The Septic Bucket list outlines a list of things you definitely want to avoid.

And rebelling against popular culture isn’t the only reason this book needs to be on your bookshelf or coffee table.

Why It Beats out the Traditional Bucket List

  • Practical: Goals are easily attainable, and activities can be avoided in the comfort of your own home.
  • Success-oriented: You don’t need to feel like a failure when you end up never climbing Mount Everest or speaking Swahali.
  • Potentially life-saving: You may discover an activity or two you were actually going to try, with results that could have been deadly. Please email me if this is the case and The Septic Bucket List actually saved your life.
  • Pretty dang funny: The book was initially created as a Christmas gift for my dad in 2015. But once family members gathered around to read it, they kept asking when I was going to expand its reach and sell it to the masses.

So I put it on my bucket list, where it sat for about a year or so.

Then finally moved forward once I was really, really sick of seeing the project on my list.

See, traditional bucket lists can take forever to complete!

The Septic Bucket List lets you set up a quick road to success, doubling as a surefire way to boost self-esteem, enhance health and safety, and kick off all kinds of hilarious conversations when you’re in a room full of people with nothing to say.

Order now! (before you accidentally decide to try one of the must-avoid activities).