Those annoying door-to-door solicitors have a new weapon in their arsenal.
That’s right. The group Orphans of the World, Inc., has gone as far as to actually plaster a flier and bag to the door with a hunk of masking tape.
Thankfully these Orphans folks were at least insightful enough to go with painters tape, which can be easily removed without permanent damage.
But they still got a lot of gall. And they still needed to be taught a lesson.
As some of you may know, my door is already outfitted with three signs to deter the door-to-door solicitors.
These include “No Soliciting;” “Trespassers will be shot,” which conveniently appears in both English and Spanish; and a cute little skull sign with the words: “Go Away.”
Obviously some people just don’t get the point.
Since these signs have been in place, my front door has still been accosted. Political campaigners have still rung my doorbell and left literature on the doormat. Others have left junk dangling from the doorknob and business cards and fliers shoved in the doorjamb. Little donation bags have also been left on the driveway, but we’ll just assume these folks didn’t see the signs.
We would think the “No Soliciting” sign would take care of all of the above, since soliciting applies to a broad spectrum, not just prostitutes.
Merriam-Webster defines soliciting as: to approach with a request or plea.
Perhaps the Orphans people thought they were exempt since their flier, which showcased a photo of a hunched-over starving child, had a headline that exclaimed: “We Do Not Want Your Money.”
They wanted my old cell phones and other electronic devices that I could leave in front of the house in the bag they provided.
So I filled the bag with garbage and left it on the curb. They picked it up the next day.
I also hooked up a new sign that should hopefully cover all bases, even for those who don’t think they fall under the definition of soliciting.
The new sign reads:
Do NOT leave things stuck to, inserted in, hanging from or near door.
Will report as littering (ARS 13-1603).
I then learned I have new soldiers in my battle.
The monthly homeowner’s association newsletter announced the entire neighborhood would soon be outfitted with “No Soliciting” signs.
If the solicitors continue to bug us, it read, we are to contact the manager with the name of the group and she’ll take care of it.
You don’t want to mess with the homeowners association people. And hopefully neither will the Orphans group.
What do you think?
What’s the most annoying solicitation you’ve had?
How do you deal with it?
What’s the sweetest revenge you’ve ever gotten?