weird

Tucsonan discovers how a severed arm can haunt you (even when it’s not your arm)

Being young, drunk and stupid can come with lifelong consequences. And those consequences can come even if you weren’t drunk. Just ask a Tucson guy we’ll call Sam.

Twenty-something Sam was an upstanding person: a former soldier, an intelligent and compassionate chap who was aiming for grand things.

“I wanted to be a lawyer to help people, ” he writes in an email. Sam instead found himself on the other side of the law as a defendant in a crime that got plenty of press due to its grisly nature.

The crime involved a severed arm.

Easter Peeps experiment: How long do marshmallow chicks last in Arizona summer?

Easter season would not be complete without Peeps, the sickly sweet marshmallow treats that have been rotting kids’ teeth for more than 50 years.

Although the sugary snacks have several claims to fame – such as their astounding array of colors that now include bright blue and shapes that go way beyond Easter chicks – their main claim to fame is their shelf life.

Peeps supposedly stay fresh, sweet and edible for an incredible two years. That is, of course, if you keep them wrapped in their plastic, far from greedy little fingers – and out of the Arizona sun.

We wanted to test Peeps longevity through a Tucson summer so we stuck them on a stick in a tree last March, right before Easter 2010.

You’ll be amazed and perhaps even surprised at what we found.

First off, Peeps do not melt in the Arizona sun. They instead become hard and dense, not unlike those sugar roses on wedding cakes you’re not supposed to eat but still try to every time.

Although we did not take a bite of the hardened Peeps, and placed them high enough in the tree to avoid the dogs’ gaping maws, we did poke them repeatedly with a stick. Even the thorns of a mesquite branch could not penetrate the hardened marshmallow rocks.

Despite not melting in the sun, the harmful ultraviolet rays did, however, do a number on their color. By early April, the Peeps’ bright blue was already becoming a somber cornflower color.

Mr. Creepy Crawly Bug Thing: Metal Art after Your Own Heart

Creepy and crawly does not have to be gross. It can instead be as sweet as this alien monster burnt-edged bug thing.

What a cute little creepy crawly critter.

This cute creepy crawly critter features metallic gold paint mingled with black polka dots and edging for contrast. His edges were cut with an electric welder, giving him a ragtag, rugged look perfect for imagining him scampering about your yard or living room.

Mr. Creepy Crawly makes a perfect addition to any children’s room, especially if you hang him on the ceiling directly above their beds.

This guy measures approx. 15 in. long from tail tip to neck, 19 wide from bent leg to bent leg and stands about 10 high at his highest point.

Bendable metal legs make it easy for you to place him on a fence, atop your mantle or creeping up a tree.

Buy now on Etsy.

New 2011 calendars feature roadkill, nudie Barbie dolls – Rynski Radio – UPDATE with playlist, download

You can kick off 2011 in a, shall we say, interesting way with a couple of calenders sure to inspire plenty of conversation.

sawyerhat — If roadkill and nudie Barbie calendars don't work, try the Sawyer Says calendar at www.cafepress.com/ryndustries

One features 12 gloriously gruesome shots of roadkill. Another shows off Barbie – probably more of Barbie than you want to see, since she appears both solo and in some intimate lesbian poses.

People eating strange objects, stealing hissing cockroach – Rynski Radio – UPDATE with playlist, download

People do the weirdest things – but don’t take it from us. Take it from the brothers who stole a hissing cockroach.

fishdraw — The cockroach pictures were too gross so we get a fish instead/Illustration Ryn Gargulinski

Or take it from Rhode Island Hospital, which recently reported 305 cases of patients eating strange objects – from pen parts to razor blades with toothbrushes in between.

Those stories and more are up this week on Rynski’s Shattered Reality radio show on Party934.com and FM 94.9 in Hudson Valley, N.Y.

Next show is Wednesday, Nov. 24 (today!) and every Wednesday online at Party934.com. Showtime is 1 p.m. in Arizona, 3 p.m. EST.

Party 934 is a radio alternative for listeners sick of stations that play one song followed by 500 commercials.

Songs that mention DREAMS are this weeks theme, along with our weekly polka fix and a goofy array of offbeat stories.

Thanks! to all who keep the song requests coming.

What: Rynski’s Shattered Reality Internet radio show
When: Every Wednesday for one hour
Time: 1 p.m. in Arizona, 3 p.m. EST
Where: www.party934.com and FM 94.9 in Hudson Valley

Seems next week theme will still be dreams – just downloaded all the songs and WOW, we have quite a solid lineup.

Missed the show? CLICK HERE to download

Playlist for Rynski’s Shattered Reality 11/24:

Theme: Dreams, part 1 of 2

The Doors – I’m a Spy (Dan in FL)

The Lovin’ Spoonful – What a Day for a Daydream (Frank in AZ)

Blondie – Dreaming (Josh in NY)

The Smithereens – Behind the Wall of Sleep (Tom in AZ)

The Mamas and the Papas – Dream a Little Dream of Me (Cherlyn, Lizzie, Frank, Carol – all in AZ, Leigh in NY)

Van Halen – Little Dreamer (Radmax in AZ)

Pink Floyd – Julia Dream (Mitch in NY)

The Rolling Stones – Moonlight Mile (Stones always for Deb in AZ)

Electric Prunes – I Had Too Much to Dream Last Night (Walt in TX)

Jimi Hendrix – Still Raining, Still Dreaming (Benn in WA)

The Chordettes – Mr. Sandman (Leigh in NY)

Charles Manson – Eyes of a Dreamer (LePetit in AZ)

Flyleaf – Believe in Dreams (Beezel)

Avsenik Slavko – Grand Prix Polka (Polka always for parents)

What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten?

Elephant poop makes money in Topeka – Could Tucson follow suit with coyote and javelina waste?

Scooping up elephant dung – or any poop – may not be the most glamorous job. Unless you happen to have some kind of fetish.

But it can be an endeavor that leads to piles of money if we take a lesson from the Topeka Zoo.

This Kansas animal haven has started a project called My Pet Poo, which turns pachyderm poop into festive little dolls, geegaws and other brightly-painted gift items.

Some come affixed with beads and baubles while all of them come with a certificate of authenticity to insure what you’re getting is the real scoop.

Don’t worry – the poopy little gifts won’t leave nasty rings on your tables or shelving units. The elephant dung is first dried out for about 10 days then coated with an airtight acrylic paint, carefully layered on the poop by dedicated zoo volunteers, AOL News notes.

While volunteers paint the poo, they seemed to have drawn the line at molding the feces as one would mold Play Doh or clay. All figures are left in their natural state, usually roundish or dome-shaped.

A final layer of shellac tops off the process to insure the knickknack doesn’t crumble apart or stink.

These gorgeous gifties sell from $10 to $25 each at the zoo’s Leopard Spot Gift Shop or $35 online with shipping thrown in. Custom orders are welcome.

We bet these fine treasures are selling like hotcakes, or at least meadow muffins.

Wish someone would have mentioned this idea when I had a New Mexico yard full of five goats.

Since Tucson and so many other cities are in such dire budget straits, perhaps the same type of waste-to-riches theory could work in a variety of areas around the nation.

The Topeka Zoo already debuted the elephant waste, so it would be best if each region had its own unique take on the recycled money machines.

Tucson’s coyote and javelina scat would be quite fetching as artwork, although the former is often littered with small bone chunks and the latter could be tough – or downright dangerous – to collect.

Javelinas have a bad reputation ever since a cornered one went after a Dutch tourist at the Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum, ripping open the man’s arm, leg and causing permanent numbness, nerve and muscle damage.

Maybe we’ll stick to the coyotes.

New Mexico could have a heyday with the goats, as long as the artisans tend toward art that works well with pellet shapes. And imagine the very large possibilities from those grizzly bears in Colorado.

Turning dog doo into art could work anywhere. It would also give some dog owners the boost they need to properly clean up after their pets and instantly provide all those pooper scooper services with an automatic dual income.

Who’d a thunk a hunk of elephant dung in Topeka could spark such a grand idea – and maybe even a way to get the American economy out of the toilet once and for all.

[tnipoll]

–

Ryn Gargulinski is a poet, artist, performer and TucsonCitizen.com Ryngmaster who has made art out of fur and garbage, but never out of dryer lint or poo. Her column appears every Friday on Rynski’s Blogski. Her art, writing and more is at RynRules.com and Rynski.Etsy.com. E-mail rynski@tucsoncitizen.com.

What do you think?

Is the My Pet Poo hilarious or disgusting – or both?

Did you ever have a pet rock?

What other strange things have you seen made into art or done with poo?

weird

Buy now on Etsy.

Footer

Stay in the loop