help monster yard art
The Help Monster, also known as the Pain and Anguish Eater, is a must for those experiencing the modern-day crap this world throws at us.

He’s a fun, lovable chap with four cute little appendages, big, bold eyes, a fun and funky body design and a giant mouth that greedily gobbles all your anguish so you no longer have to deal with it.

Mine seems to get fatter by the day.

He can be personalized with your name on the side so the Help Monster knows exactly which woes to target.

The Help Monster pictured is the prototype, as well as the one that has been ingesting my anguish, so any orders will be custom made. Please specify color and name you want on the Help Monster; if neither is specified, a purple Help Monster with no name will be sent your way.

Why you need it:
Crappy economy, crappy job – crappy life. Decimated job market, foreclosures popping up like weeds…need we go on?

How I made it:
Metal yard art is created with love and care by first cutting out shape from sheet metal, filing down the edges with a Dremel and pounding out kinks with a flat hammer and anvil combination that the neighbors and my dogs hate. Spray paint, hand-painted lettering and clear coat follows.

Approx. 10 inches wide by 10 inches high.
Weather resistant, rust-resistant paint finished off with clear coat.
Wire loop for easy hanging. Two-tone body hues.

Custom orders always welcome! Can go bigger or smaller with Help Monster, or even him having screaming “Help” in Spanish, Chinese or French. Any color is fair game. To place a custom order or more info, e-mail

Buy now on Etsy.