Folks, hold on to your hats. A new trauma study at Maricopa Medical Center in Phoenix has just been released with some shocking results:

Illustration Ryn Gargulinski

Illustration Ryn Gargulinski

BB and Pellet Guns May Pose Lethal Danger to Kids

Wow. If I didn’t get that one from the medical center’s news release, I was going to buy BB guns for all my toddler nephews and nieces this coming Christmas.

Got to love these studies, those that take x number of years and cost x millions of dollars just to state the obvious.

The BB gun study only took six years to complete and evaluated the results of 29 pediatric patients blasted by BB or pellet guns. Nine of those kids needed surgery; 17 suffered serious injuries; six suffered “significant morbidity” and two died.

I hope the kids were not shot on purpose just so the docs would have someone to study.

There was no mention of the cost of this particular study, but the release said the results, authored by Patrick J O’Neill, PhD, MD, and his trauma surgery and neurosurgery colleagues, has been published in the journal Pediatric Neurosurgery.

Anyone who saw the horrible movie “Orphan” witnessed the scene where the boy shoots a BB gun at a pigeon that falls over and bleeds excessively. That should have been enough proof that a BB gun could hurt small children, too.


Illustration Ryn Gargulinski

Other stupid studies throughout the years have included:

Study finds: Women don’t like to be told they look fat

Study finds: Bullies tend to have problems relating to others

Study finds: People who cannot afford cars are more likely to take public transit

Study finds: People put on more clothes when it’s cold

While those are real studies mentioned at, we can envision others that may be on an upcoming list:

Study finds: Most people don’t appreciate being punched in the face

Study finds: Hungry people tend to eat

Study finds: Sunlight fades fabric

Study finds: People say it hurts when you stick a fork in your eye

Did you know BB guns could be dangerous for kids?

What’s the most ridiculous study you can recall?